no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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