Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dick very happy bro
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