we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think we might need a safe word for this...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
