Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
