SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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