I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize