Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
