Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
