Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
