are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
