i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
