well you can't waste a boner
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
