Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
