Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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