you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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