Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Everyone says I win the strip club
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
