No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
