There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Two words: blizzard sex
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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