Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
