We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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