he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
