I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
