But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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