when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
