did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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