So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
