My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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