guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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