I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
