Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
