woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
