I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
