Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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