Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize
