took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Fuck appropriateness.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
