some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize