Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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