You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
