told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
