no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
