that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
