P.S. I can't hear my feet
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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