I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
