Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She even gives head with a lisp.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
