I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
