You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
