when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
