No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
