I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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