Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
