No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
