dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
